I remember even before we were married, Laura and I would paint these magnificent pictures in our minds of how life would play out for us. Oh the smiles it brought to our faces thinking of what life would be like. The hope of one day owning a small farm with a home and a rocking chair front porch, a couple kids to wrap our arms around in love, and the comfort of stability (family and financially) to live out our lives with each other.
Even though these pictures still hang on our walls, God has shown us that he has another picture to hang. This was a picture Laura and I painted, but it was years down the road, and we never expected it to be the "struggle" that it is. I say "struggle", when in reality it was a gift and blessing from God. It just took us some time to understand God's will and direction.
"Change" is a word that defines many moments in this Hubbard family journey. From the very beginning of our marriage, Laura and I had to hold on tight, as the rollercoaster of life started quick. Since marriage, Laura and I have changed the pictures on our wall many times. We have moved a couple times, both changed jobs, and had to start from scratch in finding and cultivating relationships with new family and friends. Even with all the "change", God has proven himself faithful and loving, and taken care of Laura and I the whole way.
But what about the picture that God placed on our wall? What about the "struggle" and "change" that was a blessing?
Laura and I have always talked about potentially adopting a child into our family, but our plan was to have a couple of our own first. We have always wanted to hang the picture of us with a couple kids above the mantle for everyone to see, or send a Christmas card with the smile and love that only a child can give. God had placed on both of our hearts that we wanted to have a family.
After trying to have a family or our own, God revealed to us that infertility was an issue, and having our own child right now was not going to happen. I tell everyone this because I know that Laura and I are not the only ones to go through this. I don't think that I personally have ever "struggled", cried about, or questioned a part of my life more then I did the issue of being infertile. I wasn't prepared for it, but nothing could have prepared me. I never thought that it would be an issue. I wanted to take this picture off our wall and hide it from the world. I was ashamed.
Luke 1:37 reads "For nothing will be impossible with God". Even through all the heart ache and "struggle", God held onto Laura and I. He wrapped His arms around us in love like only the Father can. He reminded us that inside all this "struggle" lies the beautiful picture of a child who needs a loving home. And he reminded us that His plan and His will will be done in us, and that he has provided and will continue to provide the way for us.
Laura and I look forward to this journey and to the day we get to show all of you the picture of our family. I hope that you enjoy reading about and learning about this process with us. Thanks and come back again!!
Drew
